Freaky Frugalite

I was surfing through Entrecards this morning, my mind wandering a little. As I dropped card after card, the thought struck me:

I am not a Posh Mom.

Remember 20 years ago, there was the SuperMom? That was the mom who worked a full-time job and tried to raise her own kids. Didn’t work out terribly well, so a popular new Mom took shape– the “Stay at Home Mom,” aka SAHM. This was the modern woman who chose to stay home to raise the kids. But now, even that’s not enough: now there is the “SuperMom SAHM.” We call her the Posh Mom. She’s the perfect SAHM– she looks a little like Barbie, maybe even dresses and talks like Barbie. She’s real, but there is this facade about her appearance, as if it’s a bit of an act. Who walks and talks and dresses like that?! But Posh Moms get invited to conferences. Posh Moms get interviewed by Other Posh Moms. Posh Moms seem to have allll the fun that we Non-Posh Moms don’t have. When Posh Moms go to soccer games, they don’t go to sweat and cheer for the team; they go to i-m-p-r-e-s-s.

Hm. It made me think. I think most moms are not posh. I think most moms think they want to be posh, because that is what is pushed on us as the perfect SAHM. It’s just like being “popular” in school, or always getting called first for volleyball. It’s an illusion, really. Funny how all the “top” moms– our examples of perfect motherhood, you see– look, talk, and dress similarly. But there’s an “air” about them that smells of manufacture. They can’t fool us– we girls all know that Posh Moms puke when they are sick just like we do; they yell at their kids just like we do. But for some reason, they want to deny it, or, weirdly enough, glorify it because it makes them appear like a “real” mom.

Posh Moms have Kathie Lee Gifford/Kelly Ripa hair- straight but layered and usually colored with blonde highlights. They have long fingernails and they paint them red or with a clear coating. They wear lustrous pink lipstick and their complexions shine from all the exfoliations and facials they have. But Non-Posh Moms have long, brown, plain hair that we often tie back so we can empty the compost bucket without it flopping into the decaying melon rinds. Non-Posh Moms bite their nails to keep them short so that they don’t fill up with dirt while digging for the potatoes. And Non-Posh Moms never wear lipstick, because it just cakes up on their wind-burned, chapped lips. Non-Posh Moms have three or four tubes of strawberry Chapstick… somewhere around the house…

Posh Moms wear spaghetti-strap t-shirts to show off their angular shoulders. Posh Moms not only own the “little black dress,” they actually wear it when they go out to fancy restaurants with their husbands. Posh Moms have clean, tidy homes with glistening hardwood floors and porcelain lamps on solid cherry end-tables. Posh Moms have lingerie; Non-Posh Moms have nightgowns. And we definitely do not have angular shoulders. Nor porcelain lamps– the kids might break them when they lay out their Matchbox set across the carpeted floor and on the used couch (that we got at a great deal for $30!). Posh Moms watch Regis & Kelly. Wanna-be Posh Moms watch Oprah. Non-Posh Moms watch DIY Network.

Most of all, Posh Moms LOVE to shop. It’s their main hobby. And they don’t go to stores, they go to “boutiques.” The Posh Mom’s status symbol is The Shopping Bag, it’s an accessory practically glued to her hands. The Posh Mom’s shopping bag is the square paper bag, with “earth-friendly” matching handles. And the bags are always in bright, shiny colors with tufts of tissue paper, to show off what great shoppers these Posh Moms are. We admire them because they are helping the economy.

Non-Posh Moms use the plastic WalMart shopping bag for ther shopping. And when we unpack them, we save the plastic bags to use as trash bucket liners and to carry extra zucchini to the neighbor’s house. Posh Moms have the fanciest strollers, the most fashionable shoes, and they buy the latest fashions for their kids. They usually have extra money around, and they spend it on either makeup, shoes, or a new vase. But Non-Posh Moms hate shopping- the traffic, the pushy shoppers, the noise, ugh. And if we get some extra money when Non-Posh Papa happens to get overtime, we can finally pay off that car transmission bill or buy crew socks for the kids. And when Non-Posh Moms are expecting, everyone knows. And well before the eighth month.

As I continued to think about this, I realized I was calling Non-Posh Moms something that they really aren’t. Non-Posh Moms are not “Non” posh. They’re real. Real Moms. That’s what we should be striving toward– being real and not going with the flow especially as the media defines us (that “flood of dissipation” that 1 Peter speaks of).

So if it means that I don’t get to paint my nails or wear fine clothes or go shopping all day, so be it. I’m happy right here, with my flannel shirt, potatoes, and puke. Well actually, not the puke. That I could definitely go posh with.

offended? see my disclaimer. :D

UPDATE: I put this in my comments section in response to a comment, but very few people read through all the comments, so I’m posting this here:

This was a post in jest, poking at the two extremes of motherhood, especially as these extreme images are foisted upon us by the media and fashionistas.

Just for the record **sigh** I am not against nice clothes, going out to dinner, wearing jewelry, getting manicures, hair-dos, The English Patient, soccer, Victoria Beckham, or shopping.

Is everyone happy now?

LOL.

I AM against political correctness, Barbie (die die die), phoniness, the Valley-Girl accent, and mimicking celebrities. And satin lining inside flannel shirts. I hate that.

It’s futile, putting clarification inside a comment box, because I’ve found that so few people read the comments. They just read the post, take it as they see it, and blast their own comment out. I confess that I do that a lot. But that’s why I have my own blog…

Related posts:

1. SAHM: It’s All About ME
2. Movado Bravado