Bats in the Belfry

August 14, 2010



We’ve got bats.
:cwy: I hate bats. I hate them more than snakes, than mosquitoes, than ANYTHING. I want to squish them under my Wolverine Work Boots, I do.


Bats love me. I am a hot person. Whenever I go outside. bugs and bats from 300 miles away sense my body temperature, and make a beeline for my head. And worse, I am very allergic to bug bites– I get hives. So either I slather my skin and hair with bug spray all summer long, and wear thick hats to keep the bats away, or I don’t go outside. Or, the bats figure out a way to get to me while I’m in the house.


In case you didn’t know– we’re renovating the downstairs of the house, including the kitchen. We had to move our kitchen into the garage. The garage is riddled with holes… oh, we’ve tried plugging them all. My house is 155 years old. It is a lesson in futility, plugging a 155-year old house. It’s like trying to find a level floor or a straight room.

Well, with the incredible heat and humidity we’ve been having, the garage is like a sauna. And the bats love it. They have been nesting in the attic above for centuries, and no crazy bat-hating lady is going to thwart their evil plans. Time to party in the garage!

GRRRR. So it’s not enough that I’m REALLY busy, shopping for cabinets and discount plumbing supplies, hanging and spackling Sheetrock, wiring electricity, and hanging wallpaper… I have to deal with the nasty pests, too.

And don’t tell me bats are harmless! Don’t tell me they are good for the environment because they eat bugs and keep the mosquito population under control. Bats are EVIL. Why else would they have such wicked little teeth, and bare them at me like I am their next tasty meal???


Time to make another trip to the Ace Hardware Superstore, in search of bat traps or bat repellent. And we have GOT to finish this renovation and get OUT OF THAT HOLEY GARAGE!!!


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7 Responses to “Bats in the Belfry”

  1. Connie Says:

    You’re severely allergic to bug bites, and yet do not appreciate one of the very best bug control devices mother nature ever blessed us with ;D … ok.. alright… we are all entitled to our sillinesses! šŸ˜‰ I agree that bats should stay in bat places, and they should not try to make bat places in a house the humans built to live in… I’m that way about spiders. Good house mates, as long as they stay way up in the corners of the tall ceilings where I can pretend they are not there, as they keep our house bug free! If they come into human land, they will either be gently removed to the outside, or squished if I can’t move them.

  2. Janiss Says:

    But… but… bats ARE good for the environment! They just aren’t good for a nice home environment! I’m pretty much with you – the only nature that’s welcome in my house is the cats, the occasional harmless spider, and a few crickets and moths (so Sparkle has some fresh cat treats). Anything else: PLEASE GO OUTSIDE WHERE YOU BELONG, preferably far away from the house!

  3. Lin Says:

    Ew. EW. EWWWWW! Yeah, I’m with you on this one. Yeah, Mother Nature, blah, blah, blah. Get those things out of my house!!!! That photo with the teeth is just icky. Is he wet? Was the dog licking him?

  4. Jen Says:

    We had bats at our old house. I hate them more than anything too. However, one time I had one I called my dad to help me get rid of it and he came over with a tennis racket, I had one too, we kept hitting it back and forth to each other and my father says, “See, this is how they came up with the name Batmitten”. We of course caught it and released it outside so it could come back into the house hours later. I haven’t had them since I moved to this house (knocking on wood) but I see them outside all the time, where they belong.

  5. Karen & Gerard Says:

    You sure you want to live in such an old house? It seems you sure have a lot of problems there . . . and a lot of WORK! I never knew those bats had such sharp nasty looking teeth! You are very brave to go into your garage with them in there, I wouldn’t.

  6. blueyes Says:

    Holee freaking bejesus….Was that one still alive when you took its picture with those sharp teeth? I dunno really, I’m debating whether I’d want to death with those or the snakes that get into my house from the back porch cuz they are nuts. I don’t think there’s a good answer either cuz the snakes can jump pretty high sometimes. I guess the real question is are those fruit bats or would they eat the waterbugs which I despise?

    • Rebecca Says:

      I don’t know why the bat was wet. YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUK!!!! We found out later that he had an injured wing… maybe Livvy got to him before we did. YUUUUUUUUUUUUUKKK!!!!

      Jen: Batmitten– hahahaha!!!
      Blueyes: You and your waterbugs, lol. Have you tried sprinkling diatomaceous earth for those?
      Lin: Ditto ditto ditto.
      Karen: Well, see, we have no choice….
      Janiss: I hope they are all listening to you. They sure don’t listen to me!
      Connie: Yes, as long as they stay far away from me, I will not squash them. It’s a pact we’ve made… lol