Freaky Frugalite

I’m exhausted today. Usually I am pretty perky, but lately my energy has been rock-bottom. I pulled out my back (*again*!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrr!) and have been off my feet for a few days. So my therapy at the gym has been put on hold until I get better. I drink too much coffee, I know, and that tends to give me instant perkiness, but then saps my strength later. And I’ve gotten out of the newly-formed habit of taking my vitamins. I guess I really wonder if the vitamins do anything?! I never feel better after taking them. I’d read that those big vitamin pills are very inefficient, because your body finds it hard to absorb the ingredients. There is NO WAY I’m ever going to be taking vitamin shots, though!

I’ve been reading and hearing about something called Sublingual B-12, from Trivita. It’s a unique kind of vitamin, because you don’t swallow it. Rather, the little tablet goes under your tongue, where it dissolves. This aids in the absorption of the nutrients. I have been pondering trying them out, and they way I’ve been feeling lately, maybe I should procrastinate no longer. I think I really should try Sublingual B-12 from Trivita today.

Kids are out from school today. Even though we homeschool, we stick to a regular “school” schedule. So my kids get summers off (and I do, too!). We work on projects during this time– gardening, home remodeling, etc. I haven’t started any projects yet, due to lack of funds and time. I’m REALLY hoping I can renovate the kitchen in the near future though. sighhhh But I have a hunch this is going to be a lazy summer.

I won’t be doing much dropping today, looks like. The widgets are not showing up on a good 75% of the blogs I visit. I reload, reload, reload… nothing. The sun is shining, I have laundry to do… no dropping today! Sorry. I really do enjoy dropping. Maybe later.

I’m lonesome. The house is empty, except for my cockatiel bird, and even he is strangely quiet tonight. Usually the house is filled with all six of us running around, but the kids are at a neighbor’s, helping them with odd jobs, and husband is at our church mowing the lawn. So I am all by myself. Alone. I don’t think I’ve been alone in the house in a very long time. It’s strange! I miss everyone. lol What will become of me when we reach the “empty nest” stage?!?!

How is it that I am not a top-dropper for those whose blogs I drop on every day? I mean, I drop once a day, how can I drop more than that? I am still not a top dropper for too many people (or, I am everyone’s next best secret!). And in some cases, not only do I drop once a day, I drop two or three times a day because I drop from my other blogs (I have four on Entrecards). Hmm.

I am finding the most wonderful blogs (and bloggers! ) online through Entrecards. I am just amazed at how blessed I am by some of these people! I am especially overwhelmed at the graciousness and femininity of the Filipina bloggers. These women (and many times, their husbands) blog about their families and family values. It is marvelous to see. I admire them.

I came across one blog this morning, Pinay Wife Speaks, and read her post “On Marriage: Think Again.” She had posted a story she got from her husband via email. What a story! READ THIS!

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When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her
hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate
quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let
her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic
calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me
softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away
the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we
didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find
out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a
satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn’t love her
anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which
stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my
company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who
had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt
sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take
back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly
in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was
actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me
for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing
something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep
and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just
did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t
want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal
a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked
me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that everyday for the month’s duration I carry her
out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was
going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her
odd request.

I told Dew about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed
loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she
has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce
intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the
first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is
holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From
the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten
meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t
tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put
her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove
alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned
on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that
I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she
was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I
wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of
intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her
life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of
intimacy was growing again.. I didn’t tell Dew about this. It became
easier to carry her as the month slipped by.. Perhaps the everyday
workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a
few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so
thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness
in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry
mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer
and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms,
walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her
hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly;
it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I
held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to
school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life
lacked intimacy.

I drove to office… jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…
I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I
do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do
you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I
said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she
and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love
each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home
on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove
away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers
for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled
and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a
relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the
bank, blah..blah.. blah. These create an environment conducive for
happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be
your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that
build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

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I cried when I read the story. I’ve been married for almost twenty years, and we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs like anybody else. This story is a wonderful reminder that marriage is more than just a convenient contract, it’s a lifetime covenant.

I’m nursing my wounds after finding out that my submission into the Renuzit Home Makeover contest didn’t make the semi-finalist list. It’s kind of how I felt after trying out for cheerleading in high school. There were 31 girls for tryouts and only 30 cheerleaders were needed. Guess who didn’t make it. :-p Story of my life *sigh*

Anyway… I was surfing Entrecards tonight and saw that my three blogs that I work on there have made the top three for their categories. I was flipping! Here are the screenshots, for posterity to remember me by, lol. It’s not exactly a cpm award, but this sure makes ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL that card-dropping worth it!

Freaky Frugalite for Trends:

New York Renovator for Home and Garden:

New York Traveler for Travel:

All is not doomed, lol. Now, if I can only figure out a way to raise $60,000 to remodel this lousy old house… *sigh*

I’m joining the brigade of homeschooling moms who are praying for Robin at Heart of Wisdom blog. I have no idea who this woman is; I found her blog via Entrecards a few days ago. She’s an author and a homeschooling mother of eleven children. She’s been plagued with various health problems, including anemia. Serious complications have sent Robin to the hospital in critical condition, and a friend is posting to her blog right now.

I’m concerned because the medication Robin is on is making her very depressed and she has lost her will to live. I have been on heavy medication (for back pain) and I know how this crap can really mess up your thinking. The doctors don’t seem to know what is causing her condition, either. Please pray for Robin, for a speedy and supernatural recovery. Those kids need prayers, too.

I don’t know what it is, I’m just sitting at my computer, bawling. I hate it when moms have health problems. We try to be so strong for everyone and it’s heart wrenching when things come crashing down like this. My son just came over to give me a hug.

Talking about my daughter was she was a baby made me want to sort through my photos of them. We were a poor, young family back then, and I didn’t take as many photos as I wish I had. Video camcorders were outta-this-world, crazy, crazy expensive, so we don’t have the kids on video. I really regret that. We did, however, get them to Olan Mills for photos from time to time. Here’s my favorite of the two girls when they were little.

Aren’t they adorable!?

That’s probably the best studio portrait I own of any of the kids. I was never too fond of Olan Mills, but they did offer good deals back then. I’m glad we went with them. Those photos are precious. We went through a “poor” period after having the boys, so I don’t have any nice photos with them.

Maybe I’m subconsciously going through the photos because it’s almost Mother’s Day? I haven’t been through them in a long time, lol!

Being a mom has been the biggest blessing to me. I have four incredible kids, wow. When I think about it too much, it chokes me up!

Sheesh. I’m getting all sentimental and Mother’s Day is still three days away….

Well, I’m stuck. No activities for me. My back is officially down and out and I’m on self-prescribed bed rest until the swollen disks decide to settle down and stop giving me pain. A few years ago, when all I had was a desktop computer, this kind of bed rest drove me NUTS. I couldn’t take the desktop to bed with me, and I was in too much pain to read books, so I just laid in agony for weeks. It was really lousy.

A few years ago I got a laptop, and what a Godsend! Now, when I have to put my feet up, I can take my work (or play) with me. It is still a little difficult laying down sideways and trying to type or use a mouse, but a laptop is the next-best thing to an lcd mount where I can be semi-reclined. Maybe someday I’ll get something like that. But for now, I have to type sideways!

I don’t expect I’ll be laid up for too long. This time, I caught it early before I really strain myself too badly. Last year I was bedridden for six weeks. It was AWFUL. It was because I ignored the pain and just kept going, going, going. I guess I’m getting smarter in my old age.