To even remember this makes my heart quake inside and my blood run cold. But FINALLY after reading all of your horrific posts about your own spider experiences, I have one of my own to share.
I had just gotten into bed. I was getting all cozy and snuggly (the temps are in the 30s at night now) and laying on my side, mushing my pillows to be *just right*. I was preparing to read my book, when I thought I saw something from the corner of my eye. It…. fluttered, I guess you could say. For a nano-second, I thought it was a bat, flying low around the bed. My peripheral vision is poor, so I wasn’t sure if what I saw was big or small, close or not far away enough from me… all I had seen was something that looked like my hair fluttered, something dark-colored. I stiffened and looked around the room for a moment; hm, nothing. And then I did something REALLY stupid.
I IGNORED IT.
Because after about 2 minutes, there the thing was, trying to crawl up my neck into my long hair. 😯 My heart stopped. It was a WOLF SPIDER! Those horrible, nasty critters that are everywhere around here! I tell the kids not to squish them when they are outside, because they are good for the garden and its their natural habitat… but any critter that crawls into my home– YEA, that DARES to crawl into my cozy BED– is DEAD MEAT.
In terror, I looked around for something to squish it with. I couldn’t move, because I was afraid it would suddenly leap off my shirt toward my jugular, causing me a slow painful death which would leave my poor beloved children bereft of a mother and my husband a lonely helpless man doomed to eating scrambled eggs for the rest of his life…
So I did the best I could with what I had. I curled my fingers around the edge of my night shirt, and squished it as flat as I could. I heard the soft “pop” of the spider’s guts bursting through its skin.
I unsteadily quivered off the bed, looking for the shrunken dead body of the spider. It was there, in my shirt. I feel quite nauseous remembering it all… it’s been a few days since this happened (I haven’t had the stomach to write about it until then, and even now I am having my doubts)… it’s taking me a while to recover. I heartily flapped and flapped the blankets and didn’t find any vengeful spider friends of the deceased. Still, it was with great hesitation that I got back into my bed. I managed to survive the night, and haven’t seen any creepies since; but I am still very shaky. Here’s hoping that word got out in the spider camp that a vicious, horrible blanket-monster mangles spiders with her powerful nightshirt.
I can’t WAIT until winter freezes their creepy little butts off. Now you know why I’ll NEVER live down south!