I Can Smell You and Other Things You Shouldn’t Say at a Retail Counter

March 1, 2013


And here I thought I was SO smart.

I finally figured out how to add my own ringtones and text tones to my smartphone. (Apple is notorious for controlling every durn thing on the iPhone). I decided to get cute and use clips from one of my favorite movies, “Up.” For my daughter, I chose the clip of Dug the dog when he says “I can smell you.” It’s a hilarious part of the movie and both my daughter and I are tickled pink whenever she texts me.

So I recently got a job where I sell stuff at a retail counter. I often use my iPhone apps to help customers find prices and etc.

You know where this is going.

If you have never been in retail, let me tell you something: it can be really fun when you have people who are happy that day. But it can be really awful when you have to wait on crabby, cranky people. Guess which day it was for me, folks?

So I’m at the counter, helping Mr. Cranky. He’s grumpy about paying a bill, he’s grouchy about the EXTRAVAGANTLY high prices of stamps (46 cents, can you imagine the indignity?! How is he supposed to pay his $150 cable bill?!). He’s crabby that he has no letters today… it’s a good thing I attended acting school. I smile as if someone just gave me a bouquet of flowers and cheerily perform the transaction.

Lo and behold, out of the blue without any warning, the daughter texts me.
“I CAN SMELL YOU” Dug melodiously calls.

My customer looks up with this quizzical Did I just hear a voice? look on his face.

I smile and continue ruffling through the papers. But inside, I’m dying.

Then the daughter texts AGAIN. “I CAN SMELL YOU!”

Oh, God, make her stop.

The customer wrinkles his brow, harrumps, grabs his change and walks out the door.

Furiously, I grab my phone and set the thing on mute. That could have gotten ugly. But when all the customers were gone and I was alone at the counter, I CRACKED UP LAUGHING.

Yes, I lead such a charmed life.

In case you haven’t seen “Up,” I recommend it! Here’s the infamous “I can smell you” clip I found on YouTube.


2 Responses to “I Can Smell You and Other Things You Shouldn’t Say at a Retail Counter”

  1. Mel @ Trailing After God Says:

    That is hilarious! Did you have to pay for those clips? I don’t even know how to do that so you are way ahead of me there šŸ™‚ I can see this being scary on my end šŸ˜‰

  2. Secondary Roads Says:

    What reaction would you have gotten if you had used, “Please, oh please, be my prisoner?” :rofl: