Disclaimer (*sigh*): Just so you know, my comments here are my OPINIONS and are not reviews of any of these apps. This post is in good fun with a sprinkling of common sense mixed in. If you have no sense of humor and are offended easily, you probably want to stop right now and go visit Elmo’s website or Dora the Explorer or something. thank you.

10. Stalqer
I don’t know if this app is available anymore. I looked in the App Store and couldn’t find it. Maybe Apple removed it for, um, obvious reasons… read on…

Stalqer is an app that shows you the current location of your Facebook friends. The ADDRESS location. Like, if your buddy Henry is two blocks away, the app will display Henry’s face and report that Henry is currently at 123 Main Street right now. And the worst part? Others can track you in real time, without your specific Stalqer approval. You don’t have to approve or “opt in” to Stalqer to get on someone’s stalking list– all you need to be is friends with someone on Facebook. Stalqer tracks your location every time you check your email on your phone.

… Yeah, it’s gone. I checked the Stalqer website and the domain is up for sale.

I just have a little question about this…. Stalqer worked because it pulled location data from Facebook locations, so…. even though Stalqer is gone, why does Facebook still track us?

9. MirrorMe
As if we don’t have enough to worry about with global nuclear annihilation, global bankers taking over the world economies, and those holiday pounds we need to shed, there’s MirrorMe. This app shows you what your corpse will look like! How’s that for classy, huh? You can enter in data every day, like how many greasy bacon cheeseburgers you eat, how little sleep you get, how often you get stoned or drunk, and how much you worry about your hangnails… MirrorMe will tabulate all the data and produce an image of what you’ll look like as you age and your death image when you keel over. Some people market this as one of those “this is a good app to make you more aware of your choices.” If people need to see what their DEATH will look like before they make good choices, Lord help them. P.S. People actually paid MONEY for this app. :blink:

8. iFart
I know I really don’t need to elaborate with any explanation on this app. The name says it all: “I’m a moron.” You can choose what “type” of…. *ahem* noise you want to make (Brown Mosquito, Bombadier, and Bye Granny, and The Muffler are just a few of the classiest selections). This app is actually 99 cents in the App Store. It has 21963 Ratings. :-? Unbelievable.

7. Virtual Girlfriend
Not considerate, sensitive or friendly enough to get a real girlfriend? Why bother when there’s the Virtual Girlfriend app! I imagine that the smart guys who have to buy this app had previously purchased creepy app #8….. This app creates a hot babe, a “virtual girlfriend.” Actually, there are a whole bunch of these types of apps at the App Store. What the heck?! Anyway, this app allows you to pick and choose your girl’s best features (next best thing to plastic surgery, I guess). The image will appear on your iPhone screen. You can then place your iPhone on your pillow at night and gaze into her lifeless eyes as she “gently breathes.” JUST.TOO.WEIRD.

6. Love is Not Abuse
This app, supposedly to *help* teenagers realize the dangers of bad relationships, actually does a great job creeping you out. It’s marketed for parents and “simulates the abuse that many teens endure in their dating relationships.” All day and all night on a constant basis, you can throw a “Freaky Friday” moment on yourself and get texts, emails and phone calls from a virtual abusive boyfriend or girlfriend. Yay.

In all seriousness, I realize this app has good intentions: to make parents aware of the stressful lives that dating teens face. But I have an even better idea: don’t let your kids date! Who was the jerk who invented teen dating, anyway?! I once heard a very wise lady say that “nothing good ever comes from teen dating.” I agree. I was a teen, once, so I remember. I don’t think kids need to “practice love” before they get married. For thousands of years, parents have kept a strict watch on their kids’ friends and relationships and it’s really only been the past 40 years that teens have been allowed enormous freedoms. I haven’t seen any benefit, and as a matter of fact it appears that relationship interactions have tanked lower and lower ever since…..

5. Annoy-a-Teen
This app actually doesn’t look too bad…. I MEAN– er, terrible, terrible! This app emits very high frequency pitches at varying pulses or tempos that only teens can allegedly hear. I did hear some of the sounds. Check out the video I found and see if you can hear any of the sounds.

I could see a good use for this app, yes.

4. Creepy Dolls
If creepy app #7 doesn’t appeal to you, maybe try this one. This app allows you to create images of various girls’ dolls– you know, the “Mama” kind of Chuckie doll — and add grotesque and disgusting features like fake teeth, creepy skin coloring, and more. oooooooooooooooooooooook.

3. iVomit
Here’s another winner from the App Store, yes indeedy. You can select various “flavors” and “textures” and away you go. I wonder if there’s a bulk discount if you get this app and end up having to get creepy app #7, as they would seem to go hand in hand….

2. Creepy
Well, at least they’re honest. The app is aptly named. Creepy uses your photo data from Twitter and Flickr to pinpoint your location. Called a “geolocation information aggregator,” Creepy creates a full-fledged map history of where you’ve been. Didn’t you know that your camera harvests your location data when you snap that photo? Yes, indeed! Flickr and Twitter harvest it; Creepy just shows it. Regular digital cameras AND smartphone cameras collect the geolocation of every photo you take. Gee, it’s amazing what these nifty little devices can do, isn’t it?

1. Carrier IQ
Carrier IQ is not an app. Oh, it’s in the smartphones. Like the Hotel California, you can check in any time you want, but you can never leave. Carrier IQ is a rootkit, a secret software program that stealthily records your activity on the smartphone and uploads that data. I blogged about it on my tech blog, TheOlderGeek.com. The iPhone allows you to turn it off (so they say), but Android users are screwed. Even when you “opt out” of data logging, it never logs you out. Nobody knows who is mining all this data and what its purpose is. Now THAT’S CREEPY.

Well, folks, don’t thank me! It’s my pleasure to help you decide what apps to avoid!

The latest two posts I’ve worked on are pretty comprehensive. A few readers had asked me about making and tweaking “buttons,” those small 125×125 graphic images that visitors can click to go to a website. If you have any desire to know how to do it, please read my posts and tell me what you think!

How to Make a Clickable Button For Your Blog – the Simple Way

How to Customize HTML Tags for Your Clickable Button

Correctly coding your buttons is important. Search engines frown on sloppy code, so results are always better with clean, simple code. Definitely check out my tutorials if you want to know how to create clean code for your buttons!

Check out more tutorials at my blog, too. Just click the button, below! :D

I’ve been hearing a lot about Carbonite these days. Carbonite is an online computer backup company. Backing up data on the computer an absolute necessity f you store sensitive files or work from the computer (as I do) or simply have scads and scads of photos of the kids and grandkids and would be devastated if you lost them. One of my relatives had all her kids’ photos on the computer– 6 years’ worth. The computer hard drive croaked and THEY.LOST.EVERYTHING. They had never backed up the data. It took them a long time to get over that.

Well, I do all my business from my computers, so I am inda nervous whenever my hard drive starts making funny noises. I backup my stuff on a portable hard drive from time to time… but honestly, I am so busy that I often forget to add stuff to it. And I haven’t figured out how to sync the blasted thing yet, either, so I wind up copying my ENTIRE hard drive all over again! Grrr.

Well, Carbonite seems a lot easier and the prices is right! I thought it would be very expensive, but it’s only $59 a year!! And Carbonite has a promotional offer going on, too— use the code <strong>BLOGAD</strong> on sign up and get two months free! Carbonite also allows you to try out their serice for 15 days for free, too. The more I read about it, the more convinced I am that Carbonite is perfect for me.

Of course, Carbonite doesn’t back up EVERYTHING on the computer. Just the important, irreplaceable stuff– documents, photos, etc. No videos, though, and no software programs (never backupi software, just reinstall it onto the computer again). Also– and this is PRIMO– I can access my files with my iPhone and iPad using the Carbonite app!!! How cool is that?! That was such a pain when I travel, not being able to view data. With Carbonite, it’s possible!

Definitely check it out. It’s very worth it.

Toshiba Satellite L655D-S5076 15.6″ Notebook, AMD Phenom II Quad Core Mobile Processor P920 (1.6GHz), 4GB DDR3 memory, 320GB HDD, AMD M880G Chipset with ATI Mobility Radeon HD 4250 Graphics, Windows 7 Home Premium 64-Bit (Grey)

In case you didn’t notice, that’s a Quad-Core processor!!! With 4GB RAM! It’s one powerful little machine, the very kind of machine I have been waiting for. But alas, a bargain is not a bargain if you don’t have the dough. So I pass it on to you, in case you have been looking for a new laptop. I checked out the specs, and everything about it is perfect. It’s a Toshiba (the best brand in laptops, IMHO), has incredible processor power so it will do everything and anything without stuttering, good memory, good hard drive space, and it has Windows 7 64-bit. It’s brand new and it has free shipping. It’s a luxury machine at a budget price! I can’t believe I’m going to miss it.

I tell you, if you do not subscribe to Buy.com’s Weekly sale email newsletter, you should! I get a first-hand glimpse at all the deals for the week (that’s how I found this one). A lot of times, the deals go very quickly at Buy.com, so it’s best to nab them fast.

If you get it, will you send me pictures? :awe:

The latest high-speed processors to come out are the Core i3, Core i5, and Core i7 processors from Intel (I’ve also decided to stick with Intel processors). Very very sweet little things they are. :D Dell has some great computers with the Core i-processors right now! With a Dell coupon, this could amount to quite a nice savings. This nice desktop bundle has a 20″ monitor and a Core i5 processor! Wooo!

The best coupon site I like is Savings.com. The website is very well-organized, and the coupons and codes work! I can search by store, brand name, or a keyword. The site is chock full of coupons, promo codes, and shopping advice. NEVER buy anything online without checking for coupon codes first! Savings.com is a great place to start. :D And if you need a new, speedy computer, definitely check out the Savings.com Dell coupon page, and other pages. GREAT deals! I saw a code for 20% a computer purchase. Nice….

The kids need school stuff now. We’ve been relying on last year’s surplus, but the supplies are beginning to wane. Sheesh, remember those good old days when all we needed was some lined paper, pencils, crayons, and a calculator? Today, the kids need backpacks, scientific calculators, and (gulp) computers! The kids have relied on old hand-me-down computers for their school work, but two of them run Windows XP, and are beginning to have problems. Windows XP is no longer supported by Microsoft, and has been essentially phased out. So I find myself starting to browse around for computers for the boys…

There is no better place to get very inexpensive, quality computers–IMHO– than Buy.com. They are having a marvelous sale on computers right now, specifically geared for school. This Toshiba Satellite L455D-S5976 is terrific! It’s got a Sempron processor, which is lower-end, but perfect for school activities (and too slow for gaming, heh heh). My eyes popped when I saw the price: $400! For a Toshiba, that’s pretty good. I think Toshiba makes the best laptops; I have a huge desktop-sized one and I have not had one problem with it in two years. Don’t ask me about the HP laptops, though! :-x

I love Buy.com! I have purchased tons of stuff from them, and have been exceptionally pleased with their prices, customer service, and fast (and very often) free shipping. They also have great videos about products, and other informative features. Be sure to check out their Weekly Specials email– I have found stuff for very low prices through that. Ooo and there may be a very nice business laptop on sale right now, too…

So I love remote access hardware. :D It’s cool. I’m definitely going to use it whenever I travel. Problem is, I don’t want to pay through the nose for it, month after month, when I am not traveling. So I’ve been shopping around. There’s some good, solid, stable software that’s got great encryption– 256-bit encryption – the highest in its class. Ooo la la. :D So I know the files I exchange and the access I manage is secure. The stuff has a free 30-day trial, too (longer than the other trials for the other remote access software).

Maybe you gals going to BlogHer can use this stuff. BELIEVE ME, you don’t want to carry around your laptops filled with your personal information and user accounts and passwords!! Don’t do it! Remote access software is secure. With it, you can create your own little Virtual Private Network, and access your computer and everything in it as your normally would. The technology is amazing!

Trouble sleeping? Maybe it’s your iPad
(CNN) — J.D. Moyer decided recently to conduct a little experiment with artificial light and his sleep cycle.

The sleep-deprived Oakland, California, resident had read that strong light — whether it’s beaming down from the sun or up from the screens of personal electronics — can reset a person’s internal sleep clock.

So, for one month, whenever the sun set, he turned off all the gadgets and lights in his house — from the bulb hidden in his refrigerator to his laptop computer.

It worked. Instead of falling asleep at midnight, Moyer’s head was hitting the pillow as early as 9 p.m. He felt so well-rested during the test, he said, that friends remarked on his unexpected morning perkiness.

“I had the experience, a number of times, just feeling kind of unreasonably happy for no reason. And it was the sleep,” he said. “Sure, you can get by with six or seven hours, but sleeping eight or nine hours — it’s a different state of mind.”

I am a workaholic, I admit. I am ALWAYS working on something, and I got into the habit of even taking my netbook up to bed, so I could continue working before falling asleep. But my sleep was poor, not to mention that I was working way too much. So I quit a few months ago. I now read the Bible or a study book before going to bed. And I sleep more contentedly. I only need a few hours of sleep, so 6 to 7 hours is plenty. I find that I am fresher and perkier after 6 hours of sleep when I skip the computer use and read a book before bed.

How about you? Do you read books or do you stare at a computer screen before bed? Do you think it has any bearing on your sleep?

Anyway, this Asus G51JX-A1 15.6″ Laptop is a nice one! Maybe a good gift for grads in a month. It’s cheap at Buy.com, about $1300 and includes free shipping. The specs are so sweet:

NVIDIA GeForce GTS 360M 1GB DDR5 for unprecedented visual clarity and remarkable gaming performance
Intel Core i7 quad core processor 720QM with Turbo Boost Technology
6 GB DDR3 RAM
etc etc

It’s touted as a gaming computer. I don’t play games (well, I play Chuzzle, if you call that “gaming”), but I do video and photo editing (a LOT, sigh), and even with my quad-core with 6GB RAM, the video software stutters and sometimes goes wonky. I need a new laptop someday… I don’t know if I want one this powerful, but it sure looks very capable. That’s the understatement of the week!

If you get this for you or someone else, be sure to get a chill mat for laptops– this thing could probably start a campfire after a few hours of use, eh?

Anyway, while I’m still not in a position to get a new laptop (after giving my old one to my darling daughter), I do need a few external hard drives. But prices were floating up around $150 for them, sheesh! But look– here’s a phenomenal price on a 500GB hard drive, for $60 after mail-in rebate! yay! It’s the Calvary Storage 500GB with USB 2.0, and pre-formatted for NFTS computers. Even before the rebate, the price is still good ($75). I like the name, too. :D It’s at Buy.com, and includes free shipping! wooo!

I’ve been noticing that things are selling very quickly at Buy.com these days. The weekly sale event is very popular. I get the email notifications sent to me… if I hesitate longer than a day, the product is almost always sold out by the time I go for it. Right now, there’s a very nice ruby red Toshiba laptop on sale for $650. Toshiba is a very, very classy laptop (that’s what I gave to my darling daughter), and they are usually very expensive (I won’t tell you what I paid for mine three years ago). To find one under $800 is a good deal. But I can’t afford one right now, because I have a kitchen to build. Maybe next year. But if you need some computers or other stuff like GPS devices or routers or Bluetooth stuff, check out Buy.com. And you’d better hurry!