Who was the jerk who first came up with the idea that women had to shave/wax their legs? I could STRANGLE him.

I’ve never waxed my legs before. I’ve been a razor-shaver for the past 26 years now. On and off. Today, for some oddball reason, I decided to try out leg wax— Sally Hansen’s “Extra Strength All-Over Body Wax Hair Removal Kit,” even. It cost me $10 at WalMart. I had bought it a few weeks ago. It took me until today to summon the courage to give the stuff a try. So I poured over the instructions, put a movie on for the kids, and let ‘er rip. Yeah.

The following review will be an admonition for you women out there. And probably make enjoyable reading for you men out there. :-p

I had to microwave the wax to get it warm. The wax smells wonderful, like vanilla. The wax has the consistency of chewed bubble gum when not heated; it’s like creamy soup when heated. So I trotted up the stairs to my bathroom with the warmed wax. Application was messy, but I tried to contain any little drips by catching them on a bathroom towel while I sat on a chair. I put on the wax, smoothed on the white paper strip, and riiiipped.

OH MY GOSH HOW DO YOU WOMEN DO THIS?!

I saw stars. OK, OK, breathe, Lamaze…. the pain subsided in a few seconds and I let ‘er rip again. This just isn’t something your body gets used to, is it? Yet I was determined to keep this up because I had paid $10 for it, and I did see some hairs coming out. But it was getting harder and harder and my steely resolve was getting weaker and weaker… and then I noticed trickles of blood running down my leg. Holy cow the thing had drawn blood! Dime-sized black and blue welts were forming on my skin. I hesitated, wondering if I really wanted to go on.

I suddenly noticed that after two minutes, the wax goop was starting to cool off and harden again. And when this stuff hardens, it is horribly, horribly sticky. My microwave was downstairs. There was NO WAY I was going to go downstairs like this. God forbid, if I brushed against the hallway walls, I’d rip off chunks of wallpaper on my way down. And there were steak knives on the kitchen countertop near the microwave.

I shifted my position in the chair to speed things up a little, just to finish my knee area and be done with it. I didn’t know that my foot had some wax on it. My foot stuck to the towel which was also balancing the little wax container. The container spilled out all over the floor and my bath mat. NO!!! I tried to hurry up and scoop the spilled wax into the container, but all I had was that wooden tongue-depressor tool from the kit. And THAT was now stuck to my hand. I got wax EVERYWHERE: the floor, the chair, the bath mat, the towel, the sink, and IN MY HAIR! I scooped everything up and tried to fling it in the trash bucket, but most of it stuck to my hands. *crying*

I peeled off the strips, the box, and the wax container from my hands by making them stick to the inside of the trash bucket. There was a massive sticky mess on the floor and I made it worse when I walked, because gobs of wax were now stuck to the bottoms of my feet. The kit has a little bottle of “Azulene Finishing Oil” to get the wax off. When I say little, I mean LITTLE. It’s about the size of a nail polish bottle. And this was NOT going to cut it for me. I had great big gobs of congealing wax on my legs, drip lines all over my feet and hands, not to mention all over my bathroom. I rubbed on what I could and made my way to the shower. Maybe that would get the gobs off.

Nope.

In the shower, I decided to use a razor to finish off what I could not get with the wax. As I did, I realized that I had suffered all that pain for nothing– sure, the large leg hairs had stripped off, but I could still feel an undercoat of hairs left from where I had waxed. By now the razor was clogged with wax and I tossed it out. I got out of the shower to realize– to my horror– that neither the finishing oil, nor the shower, nor the shaving had removed the gobs of wax still firmly sticking to my legs. I touched a gob with my finger and instantly, like King Midas, my finger was affected and made everything I touched sticky. I tried to scrub it off with toothpaste, with hydrogen peroxide, all to no avail. Finally, I sacrificed one of my washcloths and just rubbed where I could, to make the cloth fibers stick to the gobs of wax, to cover the top layer of wax so I could get out of this bathroom. I was able to get dressed, although when I walk, my legs stick to the inside of my pants. As I type, some of my fingers stickily pull on the keys of the keyboard. I think I am stuck this way until my skin sloughs it off. :-(

My bath mat is ruined. So are my towels. I don’t dare throw them in the laundry with the other clothing- I’d probably never get the stuff unstuck out of the washing machine.

So it’s back to Gillette and Barbasol. When I am non-stick again, someday.

ROFL! I’ve been a cat owner almost all my life. I LOVE cats, but they can drive me insane! Our kitty Fuzzy is nuts. This cat has shredded my wallpaper, climbed my curtains, and woken us all up at 3am with his noisy antics. We used to have him in the house, but he was banished after he attacked my cockatiel bird. The bird was in a cage, seven feet up hanging from the ceiling, but Fuzzy leaped onto the TOP of the cage! Out out out!

So when I found this video I cracked up. The cat is so cute, but… yeah, I know exactly what the guy means. lol

From the All Cute Cats blog.