I used to wrangle with paper maps. And once I opened one of those things, I could NEVER fold it back up. NEVER. It was like the Rubik’s Cube to me. HOW THE HECK DO YOU DO THIS, AGAIN?!?! In frustration, I would wad up the tablecloth-sized map and toss it in the back seat. A few years later, I married and I started to have children, and they needed a place to sit, so….

So I got a GPS last year, while in Virginia. I saw my brother with one and fell in love with it. It helps me to drive at night because the display shows the curves of the roads. Oh, I am no longer so nervous driving through the big cities with the GPS!

It’s been a really great tool, until last week when I had to drive to the other side of the state. For some reason, my GPS went bananas. TWICE.

Do you know how a GPS works? You punch in your destination, and a graphic display of the map shows up. Small directional arrows point the way, while a soothing voice (I like TomTom’s “Richard”) talks you through. Well, Richard was a little loopy one day. While driving out toward Rochester, I came to an intersection. The screen showed an arrow pointing me left. Richard chimed in, “Turn right.”

:blink:

“Did you hear that??” I asked my daughter, next to me. “Did you just hear him telling me to turn right?”

Daughter: Mmhm. Yep.

Me: Well… where do I go??

So I decide to ignore the visual cue and follow Richard’s lilting voice.

Stupid man. :hmph: Why oh why did I listen to him?!

We drove on for about 3 miles. When I started to see cows dotting the landscape, I realized we were not driving toward the city.

Me, screaming: RICHARD, you dummy! I believed in you!! Do you have any idea how expensive gas is?!
:rants:

Muttering angry threats and wondering if TomTom, Inc. has investments with Citgo, Inc., I turned away from the cud-chewing cows and sped back to where we started. Lo and behold, Richard (no doubt realizing I was about to throw him out the window) directed me appropriately. OK OK, I am a forgiving person. I made amends. Richard was good and we reached our destination.

But on the way back, he did it again!!! The screen pointed me LEFT and Richard said “Turn right.”

Oh Richard, Richard…. how can you do this to me?! I lamented so loudly that some folks at the gas station turned to look at me. I trusted him! He betrayed me again!!
:whyohwhy:

My poor daughter was silent for a while, listening to me rant and rail against Richard. When I was finally quiet, she giggled and said:

Maybe he means “The Other Right,” mom.

I bust laughing at that.

But from now on, I’ll always be watching out for Richard… maybe I should scrap him and go for Bonnie or Sam…. hmmmm…

GAH!!!!

Here– I found a video of “You Are My Cheeseburger.” Listen to this and you’ll know what I mean!

*snort* Now that I have totally ruined your day……

So, this morning, the kids were “reminiscing” about a particularly funny moment in the Veggie Tales movie Jonah. In the movie, there’s a caterpillar who hails from the land of Arabs (I think so, anyway…. maybe he’s Indian?) and he talks with an Arabic lilt. His name was Kahlil. Kahlil the Caterpillar. In a “Veggie Tales” movie. Uh huh. Well, anyway, they were remembering one particular scene where Kahlil is reciting his “self-help” audio cassettes (I told you Veggie Tales is weird), and my daughter repeated the caterpillar’s voice perfectly.

The kids pealed with laughter, and said, “Remember that part, Mom?” They all stopped laughing and looked at me when I said I didn’t see Jonah.

“Yes, you did!” they objected.

“No, I only saw a few scenes when I was passing through the room, I never saw the entire movie. And I have no intention of seeing it, either.”

They stared at me, aghast at this new revelation. Since they are all older now, I figured it was best they knew the truth:

“Kids, I never liked the Veggies Tales movies! I only tolerated them because you guys liked them.”

Which led to a new conversation about vegetables and movies and Arab accents. My son, the witty kid that he is, interjected:

“Well, if Veggie Tales ever decides to make another Arabic vegetable character, I know what they should name him!”

“What?” we all replied with baited breath.

“Barach Ali!”

:blink:

…wait for it….

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Having trouble organizing family activities, chores, money, allowances, and bank accounts? Oh, life is so much more complicated and busier than ever before. I have tried a few “family organizers” and management books and software, but nothing has ever captured the attention of the kids AND me. There really hasn’t been anything that consolidates all the family activities into one easy platform– UNTIL NOW. I just found doughmain.com! This site is really cool! It is loaded with all the family organizer tools you need to manage everything. It’s also a terrific way to educate the kids about finances and responsibility with the DoughMain financial responsibility game.

Basically, a parent signs up for an account. It’s free and takes about 3 minutes. From there, you create smaller accounts for family members. Each family member will log in to his or her account to see his/her schedule, finances, allowance stash, chore chart, and more. Kids can also play some cute games that teach financial responsibility (TheFunVault.com, SandDollarCity.com and IRuleMoney.com).

Highlights include the allowance tool, the family calendar (an ONLINE one that cannot be lost or eaten by the dogs!), and the chore tracker. The chore tracker is nice– the Boss (that’s me) creates a calendar of events (like vacuuming) and the child checks in each day for his/her assignments. He/She clicks the chore when done to mark it as done. It’s a great way to encourage the “work first, then play on the computer” habit. I made a little chore chart– what do you think? Is it too stuffed?!

DoughMain is a really incredible site. It can be a real blessing! Definitely check it out. By the way, you can enter to win a $500 Visa gift card if you use the word “dough” as the reference code!

*snicker*

Enjoi. And Merry Christmas.

***

From the Email Bin:

I recently asked my friends’ little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President of the United States. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there. So I asked her, “If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?”

She replied, “I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.” Her parents proudly beamed.

“Wow…what a worthy goal,” I told her. “But you don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that. Tell you what – you can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and sweep my driveway, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house. How about doing something wonderful like that?”

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, “Why doesn’t the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?”

I said, “Welcome to the Republican Conservative Tea Party.”

Her parents still aren’t speaking to me.

***

A common complaint by some young kids around here is that there is “nothing to do.” No matter where I live, that seems to be a pretty common complaint. Well, I have an idea! How about the Boy Scouts of America!

The Boy Scouts has been around for over 100 years, did you know that? It was founded in 1911 by W.D. Boyce of Chicago. He started the Boy Scouts of America after encountering an “Unknown Scout” in London, who helped Boyce find his way through a foggy London street. The BSA was formed to teach boys “patriotism, courage, self-reliance and kindred values.” During this period in America, the progressive/socialist movement was forging aheda in America, and some men were concerned that young men and boys would lose their sense of American patriotism and values.

Boy Scouts is WAY more than just a bunch of guys who get together and go camping or play basketball. The organization teaches boys skills they will need for a wholesome, fulfilling life. Camping and survival skills are a part of that, but so is honoring God, treating people with respect, taking responsibility for one’s actions, and more. The famikly unit is very important, and scouting supports family values.

Check out more about the Boy Scouts of America, and see how you can Be A Scout or a scout leader. Yes, there IS something to do arond here! How about you help make it happen?

I thought I’d pitch in, do my part as a very devoted taxpayer and offer you young people and parents some great gift ideas for students of those hallowed halls of education.

This would make a terrific First Day of School Outfit for the new kindergartner. Of course, you’ll have to pack it away in storage once the kid learns to read or grows out of the shirt, whichever comes first.

"I EAT school paste."

This is a great clock for the math room.

Every nerd will be proud to wear these, especially on School Picture Day!

Of course, we can’t neglect the music student.

Ah, and this is a GREAT gift for the new college student to go with all the posters and custom office signs peppering the dorm walls. Nothing like a little laundry bag honesty. ;)

This poster is my favorite. And SO appropos for the pre-dawn, alarm clock wrangling HURRYUPORYOU’LLMISSTHEBUS moments that are so very precious during the formative years. Heehee.

Every study hall should have this poster. Very motivating.

Happy New School Year, everyone!
:duncehat:

So I’m procrastinating, reading some blogs that I haven’t visited in a long time. I have my “faithful few” that I visit every day. Others I visit less frequently because the bloggers don’t update regularly. There is such pressure in the bloggy-world to update every day. I don’t like that kind of pressure, personally. Once I find a blog I like, I visit it when there’s an update. I don’t write them off or delete them from my feed reader just because they don’t update every day. Yet I do feel that pressure to update every day. :-p

Anyway, some of the blogs had updates, quirky little homilies that sent me back down memory lane. I don’t think that I share enough stories here (and I am very fond of reading your stories), so I’ll write one. Doing so will serve several purposes: one, I get to continue procrastinating; two, I update the blog and won’t feel guilty; three, it’ll give you something to read (hopefully). My little story is a totally random childhood memory about the time I tried to run away from home.

I was the only girl in the family for several years. My mom had married my step-dad and we were a “Yours, Mine, and Ours”) kind of family. Did you ever see that movie, starring Lucille Ball and Henry Fonda? My parents absolutely loved it. Me, not so much. I especially hated the “breakfast” scene, when Lucille Ball cooked huge, huge breakfasts for the entire clan. Since I was the only girl in the family, all I got out of that movie scene was thinking of the massive piles of dishes that had to be washed after all that cooking and cleaning. Ugh….

Anyway, lol. We were a big family and I was the only girl in the house. We lived in a neighborhood that had no girls, none. Just boys. I also wore thick glasses and the family was poor, so I didn’t have many friends in school. So I was a pretty introverted and lonely little kid (and rather sensitive). When I was almost 8 years old, my mom had a baby, a little girl. I was hoping for a sister for SO long and she finally came. But like Lady the cocker spaniel in “Lady and the Tramp,” the joy of a new baby was rapidly eclipsed by the mother’s isolation and her absorbing attention and affections to the new baby. So I climbed into my little shell even more.

I don’t know exactly what caused me to do this– maybe it was a recent “Little House on the Prairie” episode where Laura runs away– or maybe it was the new little luggage set my uncle bought me for Christmas…. but I decided to run away from home. I was fed up with chores and brothers and school! I packed my most prized possessions– my “Black Beauty” paperback, a pb&j sandwich, a pair of socks and the 65 cents I’d stashed– and announced my intentions that morning.

My little stepbrother, with whom I’d formed a close attachment, was distraught. He didn’t like the idea of running away, but life at home would become so unbearable without me that he decided to come along. Glad for the company and support, I loaned him one of my pieces of little luggage (good thing they were blue colored and not pink) and he packed his Matchbox cars and a clean pair of socks, too. (Don’t ask me why clean socks was so important to us, lol – ??). We bravely informed my mom of our decision, and decided to strike our fortunes on our own that August morning.

My mom, not to be outdone by elementary school children, announced that if we left, then she was running away, too. She was tired of all the chores (inspired by Lucille Ball, no doubt), all the complaining, all the problems. She hopped in the car as we walked down the driveway.

I remained unmoved but my little brother was aghast. “The baby!” he said. “If mom runs away, no one will take care of the baby!” As if in chorus, all my brothers spilled out of the house into the front yard to watch us depart. They repeated my little brother’s concern: “The baby! The baby will starve! Who will take care of the baby??” My tender first-grade heart was touched by their care for the baby. But 35 years later, I now figure they probably cared less for the baby and more for the dishes that would pile up and THEY would have to do them, lol!

Anyway, my mom began to cruise the car down the driveway. The chants of my brothers got louder. I would feel just terrible if my baby sister starved. It would be all my fault. I had wanted a sister. I couldn’t let the baby starve. So I sat on the grass and pondered for a few minutes. My little brother plunked his little luggage down and sat beside me, waiting for my decision. Reluctantly, I got onto my feet and walked back toward the house. I couldn’t let my mom run away, she was needed. I said, “OK, I’m not running away,” and scurried to my room to unpack my things. I ate my sandwich and delved into “Black Beauty.”

Looking back, the whole thing seems silly. Kids are so funny, the way they think. Back then, inspired by TV and stories, I figured that my life would improve if I ran away. I grew up to know better.

Several years later, my mom had ANOTHER baby– a girl! And this time, my dad bought a dishwasher. It wasn’t only me that got a little wiser over the years. ;)

It was inevitable.

All the kids want their own cell phones.

I have FOUR kids. Plus there’s me and my husband. That’s a lot of cell phones, you know that? The husband and I have had TracFone for years, but I started to phase over to a contract carrier just because the phones were nicer (I do a lot of texting) and I thought it would be less expensive and more convenient to eventually put everyone on one plan. Yow, boy, was I wrong. Oh SURE, the contract carriers SAY the charge is $99.99 a month for a family plan, but then they charge you $10 for 1,000 texts (PER person), $15 to $25 for a data plan (PER person and it’s required on some phones), and then there’s the outrageous fees, surcharges, and taxes by the feds, the state, and the county! The $99.99 plan easily becomes a $250 a month plan! It’s highway robbery and I can’t believe how shady it is.

Well guess what– if you’re stuck in the cell phone conundrum like me, there’s TracFone. I’m rather impressed by how improved their service has become, and apparently, so are a lot of other real TracFone customers.TracFone is definitely the least expensive cell phone plan around– We currently have three TracFones for the family (my husband loves TracFone), and they cost me about $120 each per year. PER YEAR. That’s a very good price. The kids can text and browse the web all they want without incurring fees, because the texts and surfing are included in the minutes I buy. If you buy a “Double Minutes” card or phone (lots of the new phones come with the “double minutes for life” feature, you don’t spend any extra money. Just about $120 a year for each of us.

Best of all, TracFone is improving their phone selection. They now have a QWERTY phone!! I’m going to get that for the kids. We do a lot of texting. Other TracFone phones sport other features, like Bluetooth technology, cameras, even video cameras and app phones! Our favorite right now is the Samsung phone, and one of the kids has a Nokia and a Motorola, but I am interested in that QWERTY one! Phones are very inexpensive, usually $15 to $30.

There are NO contracts, no hidden charges, no cancellation fees. Everything is upfront. I was thinking about putting all the kids on the contract phones but after seeing the new phones with new features offered by TracFone, I think I’ll keep the TracFone service.

You can check out other testimonies from real TracFone customers for more information.

Got the summertime blues? Hey, how about a trip to Branson, Missouri! I have heard nothing but praise from the area. When we finally take our road trip, we are staying there for a few nights. The Hiltons of Branson are SO luxurious, and very affordable (especially compared to New York prices). Lots of the kids’ favorite Christian comedians and music artists have shows at the Hilton Branson Convention Center. How convenient that the convention center has a beautiful hotel. :D

Right now, the Hiltons of Branson are having a terrific summer weekend package deal for families, called the Branson Best Value Vacation Package: besides a stay in one of the the beautiful hotels, you get a third night for FREE. And the price of the accomodations includes 4 tickets (2 for adults, 2 for kids) to the spectacular Legends of Kung Fu show, two-day passes to Silver Dollar City (we SO want to go there!), a $25 $25 food credit for Level 2 Steakhouse, and a $25 gift card for shopping at one of the many shops in the promenade. I don’t know about you, but that sounds very, very appealing. It also makes a great gift for a young, hassled family who needs a little break.

If you’d rather skip the Kung Fu act, have no fear, the Hiltons of Branson have more packages for every family: there’s the Family Fishing Weekend, a Souled Out Band concert, a Michael Jackson Tribute Week (that must be amazing), and National Kids Fest. The nice thing about Branson is that they consider the family– they make sure there are nice things for the kids to do, but there are also shops and restaurants and very nice attractions for the moms and dads, too.

The deals are VERY good. Check out the Hiltons of Branson page formore information on accommodations and events. And even if you are already booked for the summer, go back and check for Branson’s off-season rates, which are outstanding. Branson also has a superb Christmas celebration, very old-fashioned and just really lovely. Check the site for more details.

So it is with great interest that I decided to check out a new “Breakfast on the Go” portable snack, by Emerald. They are packed in little convenient packages, perfect for schools, trips, or just for fun.

Aren’t they cute?

I guess my avoidance of breakfast is not unusual (and I thought it was!). According to a survey conducted by Emerald, 43 percent of Americans skip breakfast! And 41 percent eat it “on the go.” Kids eat nachos, macaroni and cheese, and “rice and ketchup” for breakfast.

What blew me away was that 20 percent of Americans eat breakfast “while getting dressed.” :duncehat: Talk about multi-tasking. I can’t even eat while sitting and not slobber everything all over me.

Anyway, the “experts” say breakfast is important, especially for growing kids. So Emerald is making it easy for us– throwing together a bunch of protein, fiber and that all-time favorite American ingredient, sugar!

My kids were very eager to give this a go.

We tried three different kinds: Breakfast Nut Blend, S’mores Nut Blend, and Berry Nut Blend. Depending on the variety, the packets may contain dried fruit, all sorts of nuts, yogurt-covered raisins, granola clusters, honey-covered nuts and grains, and cocoa-covered almonds. My favorite is the Berry Nut Blend. The stuff tastes FABULOUS with yogurt, especially Chobani yogurt.

Each packet is 200 calories, and almost half of the calories is in fat, probably from the nut content. Nuts are very good for you and youngsters need some fat in their diet. But I didn’t like all the sugars: corn syrup, sugar, honey. The S’mores Blend was much too sweet. I did love the granola and nuts. I prefer the first meal to have protein, and the nuts provided it. The Breakfast on the Go mix is incredibly yummy. It is exceptional with yogurt, and very filling.

Of course, you could always make your own little packets of nut blends, but that’s the beauty of packaging– it’s intended for busy people who do not have the time to sift through a billion little ingredients and plop them in bags. I know I don’t.

So we give Emerald Breakfast on the Go Blend mixes a 4-star. The mix is delicious, nutritious and very convenient. It’s got a lot of preservatives and sugars, and we are more “natural” eaters that prefer foods without all the additives. It’s a very nice treat for busy times, trips and for snacks. I can’t imagine any kid that wouldn’t love this stuff.

The pouches are somewhat expensive at Walmart– 6 packs of 6 pouches or $23. They are much more affordable at Amazon, about $11 for a 6-pack of 6 and you can buy in bulk and save a bit more.

Just so you know, I received these Emerald Breakfast on the Go pouches in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are 100% mine. Thanks for reading!