Ten Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Dogs

August 11, 2011


We took Livvy and the Yorkies to a public rabies clinic last week. Funny Pictures - Cute Kittens There were literally hundreds of animals there. We saw a ferret, some cats and a billion dogs. As a matter of fact, cats were outnumbered by dogs probably 150 to 1. Dogs, dogs, dogs… yelping, sniffing, pooping, urinating, barking, barking and did I say barking? The entire fiasco got me thinking about dogs vs cats. Namely, that cats are WAAAAY better than dogs. :mrgreen: Why, you ask? Well, there are multitudes of reasons why! Here are merely ten of them:

10. Cats don’t bite and slobber all over you.
I tell my kids that “any provoked animal will bite,” but cats don’t bite as a first means of defense. Yeah, they scratch but dogs scratch AND bite. And dogs drool and slobber. Yuk!

I have never had a “slobbery” dog (I think it’s the big dogs that do that, mostly) but I’ve handled enough slimy tennis balls and squeaky toys from the neighbor dogs to be scarred for the rest of my life.

funny pictures - He also snores.

9. Cats don’t yelp, bark, howl, or growl.
Cats make the cutest little meows. They purr. Sometimes they may growl when threatened, but cats are almost always quiet.

We once adopted a cute little beagle, Daisy, and she was so cute. But beagles bark. A LOT. Poor Daisy couldn’t bark, although she tried like no tomorrow. The previous owner had her voice box removed! It was weird to see Daisy try to bark and bark and nothing would come out. The UPS man, who liked her a lot and would toss her a biscuit every time he delivered a package to the door, once said of Daisy, “I know she’s trying to tell me something, but I can’t figure out what it is!” As sad as Daisy’s predicament was, deep down I was glad she didn’t bark loudly. My neighbors would have had fits.

funny pictures - When the temptation became too much, Mitzy found out that a goggie mostly tasted very loud

8. Cats use a litter box. Dogs dump it anywhere.
Cats can even be toilet trained. For all the training a dog must go through, someone please tell me why no one has even been able to train a dog to use the toilet. Or to AT LEAST not go all over the carpet. Yeah, yeah, a dog can roll over or get a stick, big whoop. How about controlling that bladder, huh?

I once had a dog who I brought indoors, thinking I could train her to be a polite and clean little indoor dog. She promptly puked all over my carpet and sat down to scrape her butt across the floor. She was outside the next day.

We went to PetSmart the other day, and in the parking lot my poor son stepped into a mound of dog doo. It was a honking big mound, and I scolded him for not watching his step. But then I gazed around the parking lot and saw a vast minefield of the stuff everywhere. How could we NOT miss it? Disgusting. Cats don’t do that!

funny pictures of cats with captions

7. Cats cost less than dogs.
Vet bills are lower (and visits are easier). Cat food is less expensive and cats eat less than dogs. Dogs need licenses and shots– and why? Because dogs are more dangerous that cats, since they are more easily provoked and more aggressive.

desperate cat hijacks car

6. Cats don’t assault your house guests.
We all know what dogs do with new people.

funny pictures - den u ken soo dare parintz.

5. Cats don’t stink. And they WASH.

Cats have the cutest little pink tongues. Who doesn’t like to have a cat come up and give them an affectionate little kiss on the hand or face? But do you want a St. Bernard or German Shepherd to come up and lick your face?

I’ve heard that the reason dogs smell is because of their oil glands. Well, just like toilet training, WHY the heck hasn’t this been resolved? If some knucklehead can remove my beagle’s voice box, why can’t we remove– or at least BREED out— the stinkiness of oil glands? What’s the purpose of, for example, sending a man to the moon while leaving us earthlings to suffer untold olfactory agony by dog stink? Something’s wrong here….

funny pictures - Hao 2

4. Cats are low maintenance.
It tickles me that men, in general, like their women “low” maintenance and yet get dogs that are “high” maintenance. Dogs need to be walked, they need frequent baths (see #5), they need collars and muzzles and leashes and carriers and brushings and good heavens I’m exhausted already!

Additionally, if you go away for the weekend, you can leave your cat and expect the house to be in one piece when you return. But would you leave a dog alone?

funny pictures - Next time, *YOU* walk the  bloody dog.

3. Cats are funnier.
When was the last time you rolled on the floor laughing over a “LOLDog” caption? Wait– what? You don’t know about LOLDogs? Gee, I wonder why!


funny dog pictures - Breaking News - Courage wolf's puppy pees on danger!

This is funny??? And why are most LOLdog jokes about defecation or urination? Not funny.

I Can Haz Cheeseburger ROCKS. “LOLCats” has become a part of our vernacular. LOLCats are hilarious! LOLDogs are… not.

2. Cats get rid of vermin.
Mice, chipmunks, and house flies quake in fear when a cat resides in a home.

When we bought our house, the place had been vacant and in disrepair for a while. The wild critters had begun to invade. My husband and I would be sipping coffee in the evenings, talking, when we’d see mice boldly scamper across the floor. As soon as I got a cat, the mice problem was resolved. Our orange tabby, Milo, would sometimes let us know that he’d had a successful night by bestowing gifts to the man of the house. (Quick question: now how do cats know which human is the man of the house??? Anyway…). One morning, the husband rolled over in bed and discovered a slightly bloody little mouse lying on the mattress next to him. Purring with pride by the bedside was Milo. While the situation was disgusting, he actually single-pawedly got rid of the mouse problem. Good kitty.

funny pictures - Building a better mousetrap

1. Cats don’t eat poop.
‘Nuff said.

And there, my dear reader, are merely ten reasons why cats rule. I can think of many, many more. Can you?

funny pictures - Cats have the power to rule the world...  We're just too lazy to use it.

Disclaimer: For you tender-hearted, dog-loving, misguided people out there– this was a post IN JEST. I mean no offense to folks who love dogs more than cats, despite my bewilderment about your dire predicament. I hope my post offers you some good reasons and will, in some humble way, contribute to your recovery. :grinny:

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10 Responses to “Ten Reasons Why Cats Are Better Than Dogs”

  1. Karen and Gerard Says:

    I agree with you, cats are better than dogs for all the above reasons. I just never realized it until I got to know my dad’s cats. I never thought I would be a cat lover one day, but here I am! In fact, even now I am wearing my “Property of my Cats” t-shirt. CATS RULE!

  2. lucy Says:

    lol…Luv the loldogs lolcats joke…I totally agree with u…Cats r so much better that dogs

  3. kblover Says:

    I disagree! 😀

    Most of those things can be taken care of with training, and the rest – like stepping in poop isn’t the fault of the dog, but the dog’s person.

    No one has ever stepped in Wally’s poop…because I pick it up.

    Oh and my dog grooms himself and won’t even step in a puddle of water and likes his naps. I always called him a “catdog” in jest. Might not have been too far off!

  4. lin Says:

    And cat owners ROCK because they don’t take their cats with them everywhere and just assume everyone loves their pet. And we don’t let our cats run free outside the school when the kids are let out, or on the sledding hill, or at the pet store……

  5. KaD Says:

    I agree! My guy had a cat and dog when we met, the cat is a joy. I play hide and seek with him. The dog is a chore. High maintenance; must be brushed, bathed (and still stinks up the whole house), have nails cut and filed, paws trimmed, walked. It wakes us up early trying to get fed. Dogs don’t just **** anywhere, they shit everywhere! Having a dog is like being a slave; your whole life has to revolve around getting home to feed it and let it out for a *****. OR dragging it with you. Dog begs contstantly for food and attention; not so the cat. Cats are great!

  6. melissa Says:

    I love you for this!

  7. Traumatizedbycats Says:

    OMG cats do bite I got bitten by a cat when I was little and now I’m traumatized and afraid of all cats
    And http://www.cracked.com/article/226_6-adorable-cat-behaviors-with-shockingly-evil-explanations/

  8. John Says:

    I have to agree. I googled “cats don’t bark”.

    Here’re some things I can think of that make dogs better:
    1) A dog will defend the house from an intruder
    2) A dog will patiently wait for you to come home and shower you with love
    3) A dog will quickly learn the meaning of words
    4) A dog is big enough to go on walks or hikes with you
    5) A dog will protect you if a stranger attacks you
    6) A dog can be trained to do lots of different tasks, generally
    7) A dog will alert you when a stranger is outside at the door or nearby by barking
    8) You can play Fetch with a dog all day long

    Those’re just a few.

    But I like cats better. They don’t make too many messes, aren’t loud and stick to themselves generally. I think the main reason cats are the way they’re is because they were lone hunters before they were domesticated. Dogs, on the other hand, were pack hunters. This is why dogs bark so much. It’s why dogs are more social. Coats, by contrast, don’t need to communicate across large distances and don’t have an intense drive to be social as a member of a pack. This might not explain why cats will bury their poop, but it goes a long ways.

  9. Annie Says:

    Dogs or of course WAY better than cats.

    1. If you think cats are funnier, well thats just your opinion. Dogs are funny, helpful and caring.

    2. My dog has NEVER eaten its poo. Infact, I dont know any dog that does- and i know A LOT of dogs, because my family is total dog lover.

    3. My dog doesnt hump anyone! And ive never had a dog hump me or anyone i know. i only know one dog that humps but he only humps his teddy, not humans. he has stopped now though because it was just a phase.

    4. My dog doesnt stink because i take him for a wash. I also find it disgusting how cats wash them self with their own spit, and then they expect you to pat them once they have put their spit all overthemself.

    5. Dogs give you a healthier life. If you walk them once a day, you’re getting a healthier lifestyle, which of course, gives you a longer life.

    6. CATS DO BITE! I have had quite a few cat bites, and cat scratches from some peoples cats. They hurt soooo much, and my dog never ever bites unless there is an intruder.

    7. Ewwww… cats eat mice which could have disease and stuff. DISGUSTING.

    8. No they dont. For cats you still need to give them flu shots, and all those other needles that dogs have, then you need to buy them a collar, a litterbox, food, food bowl, scratching post, bed and scoop. For dogs you dont need the scratching post, litter box or scoop, and that could save you around $100 depending on where you purchase it from.

    9. Obviously, you can train a dog to poo in a certain place. 🙂

    Guide dogs
    Police dogs
    Farm dogs
    War dogs
    Army dogs
    Airforce dogs
    Help out with drug dogs
    Watch dogs

    P.S Dogs are better than cats.