We’re All Gonna ‘Splode!!!! Yahhhhh!

January 25, 2011


Oh have you read the latest space news, breathlessly reported by science journalists everywhere??

“Distant star Betelgeuse will UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES explode in 2012! Definitely not!!”
But scientists say star could explode at any time….


Oooookkkkk…. so they are absolutely sure the star will not explode in 2012. Why? Well, because the Mayans said that the end of the world was slated for 2012! Because there are people who believe that 2012 is marked as the “doomsday year”! Tut tut, scientists says, what a bunch of superstitious sillies! they say. But….. they also say that the explosion could be ANY time– right NOW or 100,000 years from now. But DEFINITELY not in 2012? Any time except then?

Well, THAT sounds like hype, if you ask me. That’s a kind of ANTI-doomsday hype, if you ask me. lol. Who says that’s not just as bad? šŸ˜‰

funny pictures of cats with captions

In case you missed the news, there’s some star in the constellation of Orion that is showing signs of exploding. It’s the star Betelgeuse, much larger than our sun, that’s running out of steam. The explosion (if it happens, no one is sure that this will even happen) apparently will not affect the Earth very much, it’s too far way. Experts calculate Betelgeuse is 640 light years away (although they are not sure) and it has a mass about 5 to 10 solar masses… well, no maybe more like 18… or maybe 20 (they’re not sure)… and the star appears to be losing mass (although they’re not sure if it really is because they can’t seem to figure out the original mass to begin with)…. ACTUALLY, no one is sure of anything. EXCEPT that this event will NOT occur in 2012. That’s an absolute.

But one of these days, POW! Right in the kisser! Betelgeuse will explode. When it does (if it does), the star will eventually appear as large as the moon in our sky, radiating a light about as dim as the moon.

Wow, that’s pretty cool. IF it happens.

So the obvious question is “Well, when will it happen?” And the scientists say, “Well, we don’t know when. It might go up tonight, or it could be 100,000 years from now.” And when asked if it will happen in 2012, some scientists exclaim, “Definitely not then!”

All silliness aside, I think this is all pretty cool. I like stargazing, and if Betelgeuse explodes in my lifetime, that would be some PRETTY cool stargazing. I mean, HOW OFTEN do we stargazers get a star coming right at us? When was the last time that happened, 4 BC or 6 BC when the Magi from the East followed the star to see the Christ? Cool!

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By the way, everyone seems to have their own style of pronunciation for the name “Betelgeuse.” Most seem to pronounce it “BEE-tell-juice.” I prefer “BAY-tell-juice.” It seems to be spelled that way. (Plus, I’m no fan of Tim Burton). Our language butchers terms for astronomy, anyway– who made up the pronunciations, teenaged boys? Take the planet Uranus, for example. When I was in school, it was pronounced the proper way, YOOR-uh-nus. But all the boys snickered every time they heard it, and would pronounce it the *wrong* way, much to the chagrin of the teacher (and the rest of the class). Now, every where I go, people pronounce it the *wrong* teenaged-boy way, as if this is standard pronunciation. Ur doin it rong!

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4 Responses to “We’re All Gonna ‘Splode!!!! Yahhhhh!”

  1. Mike Says:

    I do believe I saw some propaganda against teenage boys… šŸ˜€ I know, most of them can’t speel or even pronuncificate any wurds anymorr. Phigurrs! šŸ™‚

  2. Rebecca Says:

    Well, Mike, you are cut from a different cloth. šŸ™‚ I’m referring to the stupid bathroom humor “jokes” that kids did when I was in school. NOT FUN.

  3. Karen and Gerard Says:

    I hadn’t heard about this before. Love you pointing out the humor in it!

  4. Rena Says:

    Ha!!! I love this post!!!!